Momma Teacher, Single Teacher, Too Busy Teacher, Why Am I Not Asleep Yet Teacher, I Don’t Have Time To Read This Teacher, I’m About To Lose My Mind Teacher....this is for you.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been counting down the days since Spring Break. You love your job, you find purpose in your job, but that job leaves you drained everyday. Trust me, I get it.
You’ve gotten annoyed by saying, “I literally just gave the directions,” and “Yes, this is for grade.”
And if I have to say, “Class, class” for them to say back, “Yes, yes” one more time, I might just lose it.
Girl, or boy, I FEEL YA.
But can I encourage you?
The impact you’ve been making on your class that you have for exactly 178 days has not stopped. You are still making a difference. You can still change these children’s lives.
Isn’t that why you became a teacher? To make a difference?
I know you’re tired. I know you want to go home and take a nap. I know you want to spend hours on end at Target and Hobby Lobby. I KNOW.
This business we’re in of training little humans for life is a mind-boggling process. It ain’t easy. If it were easy, everyone would be a teacher. But no, God gave you a passion and you pursued it. Remember back to when you were a first year teacher and you wanted to change the world? Think back to how you felt then. That’s what your kids need right now. They’re tired too. They need our energy to get through the day. They deserve a loving and safe place because come summer time, they may not get that again until August.
I have 16 days. 16 days left to show my kids the love they deserve.
Be the light. Be an encouragement. Don’t forget how crucial you are in the lives of your students.
They will remember you for something. Make sure it’s a positive something.
They may not remember what you taught them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
I’m praying for you!
You got this.
Jennifer
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Getting There
4 years ago I wrote my very first blog and let me tell you, things have changed drastically since then. I’m halfway through my 3rd year teaching at one of the best districts in the state and daily being reminded of the love of Christ.
Life definitely hasn’t been easy the last 4 years, but I have learned a lot and I’d like to share what I’ve learned in tonight’s post.
1. Teaching ain’t easy.
It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s challenging and tiring, but by golly, it’s the most rewarding thing I’ll ever do.
2. Call your parents more.
I never understood the impact my parents made on me until I moved out on my own. Call them more to check in and update them on your life. Call. Don’t just text them.
3. Love anyways.
Despite the hurt you will probably feel after a relationship ends, choose to love anyways. They need to remember that what was once theirs was the real deal and they decided to stop choosing to love you. Because when it comes down to it, love is a choice and they chose to leave. Even so, love them while it lasts.
4. When fear and anxiety creep in, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
5. Stop texting the guy that isn’t texting you back. Your consistency is probably creeping him out.
6. If one of your students invites you to go to a family outing, go! You’ll probably end up meeting one of your favorite friends. :)
7. Talk to your kids/students about real stuff. Don’t let days and years go by hoping someone else will teach them. Step up and have those daily talks. I call them “teachable moments”
8. Tell people you love them.
9. Random acts of kindness are seriously the most fun thing.
10. Play Christmas music. Hearing your kids/students sing along is the sweetest thing.
11. Always use your manners. You’re never too old to use them.
12. If you’re single, then be the coolest aunt there ever was. (Currently living that life and it’s the best!)
13. Study the Bible. Don’t just pick it up on Sundays. Get it out during the week and see what God can show you through His Word.
14. Fold the clothes as soon as they get out of the dryer. Before you know it, you’ll have 4 loads just stacked to the roof nearly at the end of your bed.
15. Whatever you do, don’t listen to the person that says to “follow your heart”. It’s the worst advice. Follow Christ and He will give you the desires of your heart.
16. Get a hammock. It’s worth it.
17. Stop hitting snooze so much. You’ll be nearly late to work 3 times your first year teaching. (Guilty)
18. Keep calling The Hogs. They’ll disappoint you, but they need your support. And besides, red looks good on you.
19. Don’t be afraid to step up and be a leader in your workplace. You’ll be appreciated more and people will come to you for help. It’s nice to be needed sometimes.
20. Trust and obey.
21. Stop Facebook stalking other people’s lives and comparing them to yours. You’ve got a good life too. Live it.
22. Don’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone.
23. Love your kids/students when it’s sometimes hard to do. They need you and despite how you feel in the moment, you need them too.
24. “Me time” is needed. Don’t work yourself to death.
25. Choose joy because happiness doesn’t last forever. Joy is eternal.
26. Laugh more often.
27. Roadtrips to Fayetteville are necessary.
28. Random adventures having no clue where you’re going lead to pretty cool stories.
29. Saying “treat yo self” is not a good response when your paycheck is almost gone. Don’t buy the shoes. Wait til next payday. You’ll be fine without the shoes for a month.
30. Credit cards are of the devil.
I may not be where I imagined I’d be 4 years later, but I’m getting there and it’s all about the adventure.
Goodnight & God Bless
Jennifer
Life definitely hasn’t been easy the last 4 years, but I have learned a lot and I’d like to share what I’ve learned in tonight’s post.
1. Teaching ain’t easy.
It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s challenging and tiring, but by golly, it’s the most rewarding thing I’ll ever do.
2. Call your parents more.
I never understood the impact my parents made on me until I moved out on my own. Call them more to check in and update them on your life. Call. Don’t just text them.
3. Love anyways.
Despite the hurt you will probably feel after a relationship ends, choose to love anyways. They need to remember that what was once theirs was the real deal and they decided to stop choosing to love you. Because when it comes down to it, love is a choice and they chose to leave. Even so, love them while it lasts.
4. When fear and anxiety creep in, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
5. Stop texting the guy that isn’t texting you back. Your consistency is probably creeping him out.
6. If one of your students invites you to go to a family outing, go! You’ll probably end up meeting one of your favorite friends. :)
7. Talk to your kids/students about real stuff. Don’t let days and years go by hoping someone else will teach them. Step up and have those daily talks. I call them “teachable moments”
8. Tell people you love them.
9. Random acts of kindness are seriously the most fun thing.
10. Play Christmas music. Hearing your kids/students sing along is the sweetest thing.
11. Always use your manners. You’re never too old to use them.
12. If you’re single, then be the coolest aunt there ever was. (Currently living that life and it’s the best!)
13. Study the Bible. Don’t just pick it up on Sundays. Get it out during the week and see what God can show you through His Word.
14. Fold the clothes as soon as they get out of the dryer. Before you know it, you’ll have 4 loads just stacked to the roof nearly at the end of your bed.
15. Whatever you do, don’t listen to the person that says to “follow your heart”. It’s the worst advice. Follow Christ and He will give you the desires of your heart.
16. Get a hammock. It’s worth it.
17. Stop hitting snooze so much. You’ll be nearly late to work 3 times your first year teaching. (Guilty)
18. Keep calling The Hogs. They’ll disappoint you, but they need your support. And besides, red looks good on you.
19. Don’t be afraid to step up and be a leader in your workplace. You’ll be appreciated more and people will come to you for help. It’s nice to be needed sometimes.
20. Trust and obey.
21. Stop Facebook stalking other people’s lives and comparing them to yours. You’ve got a good life too. Live it.
22. Don’t be afraid to get outside of your comfort zone.
23. Love your kids/students when it’s sometimes hard to do. They need you and despite how you feel in the moment, you need them too.
24. “Me time” is needed. Don’t work yourself to death.
25. Choose joy because happiness doesn’t last forever. Joy is eternal.
26. Laugh more often.
27. Roadtrips to Fayetteville are necessary.
28. Random adventures having no clue where you’re going lead to pretty cool stories.
29. Saying “treat yo self” is not a good response when your paycheck is almost gone. Don’t buy the shoes. Wait til next payday. You’ll be fine without the shoes for a month.
30. Credit cards are of the devil.
I may not be where I imagined I’d be 4 years later, but I’m getting there and it’s all about the adventure.
Goodnight & God Bless
Jennifer
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
There is Purpose in the Wait
wait (verb) -
1. To stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens.
2. Used to indicate that one is eagerly impatient to do something or for something to happen.
If I can pinpoint one specific thing that God has continuously been teaching me over the last 2 years, it's to wait. Whether that's to wait on His timing, to wait and be still, to wait and find joy in the season I'm in...it's always been that one word: WAIT.
If you know me at all, you know that I struggle with being impatient. I'm a go, go, go kind of person and love marking things off a to-do list. Very seldom do I take the time to be still, breathe a minute, chill, and focus on the things that actually matter in this world. To be quite honest, I hate to wait.
I feel like I'm constantly in a state of waiting. When I get what I want, I'm always eager to find the next thing that I have to wait for. I'm hardly ever at a state of contentment because I'm always wanting something more, which means waiting for something.
Currently, I've been a season of waiting for over 2 years.
And as I sit here in my sweet little house in my sweet little neighborhood, I cry as I type this because I hate being in this season. I'm over it and ready for something new.
Now, my intention is to not sulk in my sadness, but rather find hope and peace and joy. And that maybe, just maybe, there's someone out there who's struggling with this waiting season too and that reading this will give them hope and peace and joy.
So, here it goes:
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchman for the morning." - Psalm 130:5-6
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." - Psalm 37:7
These three verses are verses that I've had to speak over myself to remind me that there is purpose in the wait.
I had a plan for myself when I moved to Benton. I won't go into detail because honestly, it doesn't really matter in the point I'm trying to make.
Well, those plans after just a month and a half completely blew up in my face. I was broken, I was hurt, and I was angry. Looking back, I see the hand of God in all of it. God knew exactly what He was doing and what He was pulling me away from. Even though it hurt and even though my heart still aches when I think about it, I know that God had a plan and continues to have a plan.
Ultimately His plan will always be greater than mine. It will always win. Even if I fight it, He will always be the champion.
In this season I'm learning that A) I am perfectly capable of living a beautiful, complete life without having a husband, B) As much as I desire to be a wife and mother, I am blessed with 22 bright and incredibly loving students that I call my kids, and C) God is good and He's always going to be good.
It is easy to use this season sitting around feeling depressed and lonely. I can waste a lot of time in a frantic search for a companion, where I fill all my spare time with being around people.
OR, I can use it to seek the Lord in His Word and in prayer.
If you use your time reading and studying God's Word, reading Christian books, praying, and serving the Lord in some capacity, when God introduces you to your life partner, you will be mature enough for the responsibilities of a Christian marriage. If you want a godly mate, you've got to become the kind of person the kind of person you want to marry would want to marry.
And let me tell you, God can use you where. you. are.
He's doing that with me right now.
Quit saying, "When God does this, I'll serve him better." NO! Serve Him now.
Jesus didn't say, "I'll die on the cross for them if I see them do "this"."
Don't give God ultimatums.
God can use you in whatever season you're in. The cool about seasons is that they change.
So, if you don't necessarily like the season you're in, hold fast, trust God and His timing, and a new season will come.
Surround yourself with people who will love you, encourage you, pray for and with you.
Living in Gospel community is necessary in any season you're in.
With all that being said, live life knowing that there in purpose in your waiting. God is molding and shaping you into the man or woman that He calls and desires for you to be. So, let Him. Quit trying to make plans and let God move, even if you don't understand.
Whatever you're waiting on, let God be God, be patient, and wait on Him and His timing.
Our job isn't to understand; Our job is to obey.
The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. The more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination.
All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.
1. To stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens.
2. Used to indicate that one is eagerly impatient to do something or for something to happen.
If I can pinpoint one specific thing that God has continuously been teaching me over the last 2 years, it's to wait. Whether that's to wait on His timing, to wait and be still, to wait and find joy in the season I'm in...it's always been that one word: WAIT.
If you know me at all, you know that I struggle with being impatient. I'm a go, go, go kind of person and love marking things off a to-do list. Very seldom do I take the time to be still, breathe a minute, chill, and focus on the things that actually matter in this world. To be quite honest, I hate to wait.
I feel like I'm constantly in a state of waiting. When I get what I want, I'm always eager to find the next thing that I have to wait for. I'm hardly ever at a state of contentment because I'm always wanting something more, which means waiting for something.
Currently, I've been a season of waiting for over 2 years.
And as I sit here in my sweet little house in my sweet little neighborhood, I cry as I type this because I hate being in this season. I'm over it and ready for something new.
Now, my intention is to not sulk in my sadness, but rather find hope and peace and joy. And that maybe, just maybe, there's someone out there who's struggling with this waiting season too and that reading this will give them hope and peace and joy.
So, here it goes:
"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain." - 1 Corinthians 15:58
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchman for the morning." - Psalm 130:5-6
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." - Psalm 37:7
These three verses are verses that I've had to speak over myself to remind me that there is purpose in the wait.
I had a plan for myself when I moved to Benton. I won't go into detail because honestly, it doesn't really matter in the point I'm trying to make.
Well, those plans after just a month and a half completely blew up in my face. I was broken, I was hurt, and I was angry. Looking back, I see the hand of God in all of it. God knew exactly what He was doing and what He was pulling me away from. Even though it hurt and even though my heart still aches when I think about it, I know that God had a plan and continues to have a plan.
Ultimately His plan will always be greater than mine. It will always win. Even if I fight it, He will always be the champion.
In this season I'm learning that A) I am perfectly capable of living a beautiful, complete life without having a husband, B) As much as I desire to be a wife and mother, I am blessed with 22 bright and incredibly loving students that I call my kids, and C) God is good and He's always going to be good.
It is easy to use this season sitting around feeling depressed and lonely. I can waste a lot of time in a frantic search for a companion, where I fill all my spare time with being around people.
OR, I can use it to seek the Lord in His Word and in prayer.
If you use your time reading and studying God's Word, reading Christian books, praying, and serving the Lord in some capacity, when God introduces you to your life partner, you will be mature enough for the responsibilities of a Christian marriage. If you want a godly mate, you've got to become the kind of person the kind of person you want to marry would want to marry.
And let me tell you, God can use you where. you. are.
He's doing that with me right now.
Quit saying, "When God does this, I'll serve him better." NO! Serve Him now.
Jesus didn't say, "I'll die on the cross for them if I see them do "this"."
Don't give God ultimatums.
God can use you in whatever season you're in. The cool about seasons is that they change.
So, if you don't necessarily like the season you're in, hold fast, trust God and His timing, and a new season will come.
Surround yourself with people who will love you, encourage you, pray for and with you.
Living in Gospel community is necessary in any season you're in.
With all that being said, live life knowing that there in purpose in your waiting. God is molding and shaping you into the man or woman that He calls and desires for you to be. So, let Him. Quit trying to make plans and let God move, even if you don't understand.
Whatever you're waiting on, let God be God, be patient, and wait on Him and His timing.
Our job isn't to understand; Our job is to obey.
The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. The more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination.
All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for.
In our waiting, God is working.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Singleness & Sanctification
Writing this post has been on my mind and heart especially within the last few months. I don't intend for this to be a stereotypical, cliché, girly, depressing post, because in all honesty, it won't be. Not even close. So, let's get down to business.
I'll start with this: Singleness, at any stage of life, can be a difficult season. It seems that the older you get, the harder it is to be content about it. I've asked a few friends to help me in writing this post. I started by giving them 6 straight-forward and, honestly, pretty heavy questions to answer. To be honest, their answers were great. I could tell that they had strong opinions and a lot of their answers were backed up by biblical truth.
The questions:
1. What is your definition of dating and why do you believe people should date?
2. What does the world teach us about dating and how do you agree or disagree?
3. What are you learning through your season of singleness?
4. What qualities/characteristics are the most important to you in a significant other and why?
5. What are some areas women can better communicate their feelings so that it doesn't cause a confusion of "I'm interested or I'm not interested?"
6. How do men need to step up in pursuing a relationship if they are interested in a woman?
I received a variety of answers to these questions and will use their answers and my own to delve into the topic of being single and how God can use you in this season.
GO.
1. For myself and the majority of those who took part in this, dating is a period of time in which there is an intentional, serious consideration of marriage between a man and woman. It's also doing life together. They're learning about one another and confirming their interests and growing together towards marriage. It is important to know all that you can about someone before you try to advance a relationship.
Dating is NOT a period of time in which you go on dates with someone because you think that person is attractive and they'll pay for a meal. Umm...negative.
To be really real, in high school, I dated because I thought that's just what you did. I thought a guy was cute, he made me laugh, we started hanging out, we held hands, we called it a relationship.
Looking back, I regret those relationships. Not because of the guy I was dating at the time, but because of the reasoning behind our relationship. It was silly. It was childish and it ended up just hurting my heart in the long run. Because you see, those relationships didn't last because they were not built on the foundation of Jesus. Jesus was not at the center of those relationships and to be honest, I wasn't asking Him if who I was dating or why I was dating was the best thing for me. Which leads to the next question.
2. Through reading the Gospels this semester, I've come to the realization that the Word of God and what the world teaches us is completely opposite of one another. It's like that on basically every issue out there...including dating, marriage, etc.
One of my very best friends gave an incredible response to this question:
"The world teaches us that dating is about US. A relationship is about getting what you want from another person and continuing if it feels right. The world says it's casual...that you can float from relationship to relationship and be okay. I completely disagree with every image of dating the world displays. It's selfish, self-seeking, and hollow."
Harsh, but legit, and very much true.
Another great response I received was this:
"The world presents dating as a temporary commitment in which you are able to have an intimate and physical relationship. If it is no longer beneficial or enjoyable, you get out and try another. The problem is that for the Christian, no relationship is disposable and the world has underestimated the impact of the physical relationship on ourselves and future relationships."
Can I get an AMEN?
Let me just go out on a limb and say this (again, my personal opinion):
If you cannot picture yourself with a person that you are currently interested in for years and years to come, do not date them. If they seem good right now, cool. If they don't seem so good for the next 50 years, #byefelicia. But really, dating is not a casual, let-me-hang-out-with-you-until-I-figure-out-my-feelings thing. Dating is a "I'm interested in you, I think we can serve Christ together, and I'm looking at the life journey, not just the fun road trip."
Men and women, if you get nothing else from this, please get this:
Serve Christ, love Him and meet with Him daily.
My favorite book and chapter of the Bible is John 15.
John 15:7 says, "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
Abide - keep to, hold to, conform to, follow, obey, comply with, accept, acknowledge, respect, stand by, the list goes on and on.
Keep to Christ. Hold to Christ. Conform to Christ. Follow Christ. Obey Christ. You get it? When you are loving the Lord and making Him the most important thing to you, your desires and what you think you want start transforming into what Christ desires for your life. And from personal experience, how beautiful and perfect are His plans for you.
God knows our hearts. By golly, He created our hearts. He knows what we desire. He knows that I desire a husband and a family, but He also knows that I need to desire Him and His plan.
So, seek, serve, and love Christ in the season of life that you're in and He will show you and teach you the most incredible things about Him, who He is, and all that you are to Him.
3. Believe it or not, singleness is a blessing. Another great friend of mine responded with this:
"I am learning through this season how capable, strong, and independent that I am. I am capable of anything with or without someone." YAS GIRL.
Another response that is extremely similar to mine: "It has taught me about patience and humbleness and knowing that single or not, God still can use me and wants to use me."
You don't have to be dating someone or married to be used by God. God wants a willing heart that desires His ultimate and divine plan. God can use you in whatever season you are in right now. My question to you is, are you willing to be used by God?
4. When I was 13, I attended a youth conference in Conway that was specifically designed for teenagers. At that conference, you were given the opportunity to go to several break out sessions or small groups. There was a leader for those groups that would discuss a specific topic you were interested in. My first session I went to: Why do people date?
We listened to a middle-aged woman speak on why people date and what the true meaning of dating should be. At the end of the session, we were asked to make a list. As a planner and extreme organizer, I was up for the challenge.
We were asked to make a Husband/Wife list. The girls were to make a list of qualities of what they were looking for in a husband, and vice versa for the guys.
Looking back, my list was literally the dumbest thing I ever wrote. I'm sure it's still at my parents house in a box in my old closet. Ha!
That was 11 years ago and my ideal for a husband has changed significantly.
To me and my girl, Rachel, (And I'm sure others out there) the most important quality is a man seeking the Lord intentionally. If he is being mentored, spending intentional time in the Word, and is involved in his church, the rest will take care of itself. To be honest, nothing is more attractive than a man who pursues Christ and strives to know Him more and more each day.
Through various responses, I also got these answers:
A good sense of humor, honest, family-oriented, good morals, strong, silly, creative, outgoing, and hot (because kids - duh)
That last one, from the person I got it from, was definitely a joke. But not really knowing her. Ha!
So basically, this goes to both guys and girls and it goes back to Christ, as it will...every time: Seek Christ, have a mentor who is keeping you accountable and encourages you in your walk with Christ, study His Word, and be involved in your church.
And let me go out on another limb here because, why not, I'm already sharing basically everything else with you...
Do not settle. The problem with our generation today is that there are guys and girls dating that have no reason to be dating.
Young woman of God, wait for the man who loves you the way that Christ loved the church and quit settling for the boys who can shave. There's a lot of neat Christian boys out there, but not a whole lot of godly men who diligently seek the Lord in everything they do. Wait for that man.
One of my favorite quotes is from my favorite speaker, Matt Chandler.
"Your loneliness now is monumentally better than your loneliness with a man in the house who has no intention of loving and serving you the way that Christ loved the church."
Can I get another AMEN?
Young man of God, wait for the woman who encourages you, holds you accountable of your job as the head of the family, and will gladly submit to you as she does to the Lord.
Difficult to find? Probably. Worth it in the long run? You bet.
5. I feel like this is an ongoing issue that has escalated here recently. How can women better communicate to a guy if she is or is not interested in him without causing confusion and hurt feelings?
Here's a bright idea, ladies...COMMUNICATE. How will a guy ever really know if you're interested, if you never tell him? Whoa, there's a thought.
This whole ridiculous game of, "Oh my gosh, he made eye contact with me from across the room...I think he's interested so I'm just going to sit here and be impatient and overanalyze everything he ever does because I think he likes me."
Okay. Girl, STOP. Please. He made eye contact because he has eyes and is a human being. If I make eye contact with every male, that does not mean I like them, it means I have eyes and I'm using them correctly.
I had several awesome responses:
- "Be blunt with your intentions, feelings, and motives."
- "Women have to quit being scared for someone to know they are interested. Like isn't that the point? Let them know...just don't be cray." (My personal favorite. Haha!)
- "Be honest about it. Say why you are pursuing each other so that neither person gets confused."
- "Women need to be more straightforward, less flirtface, inserting themselves in every place of the other person's life, or less standoff-ish, running the opposite direction. Be bold, confident, and humble."
- "Just be honest. If you don't know, say it, If it's a no, say it. If you like them, you can say it. It doesn't have to be signals. We can use words. It doesn't have to be complicated."
- "First, don't be quick to assume interest in another. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Many heartbreaks could be avoided simply by moving slowly."
- "Well this one hits home. I definitely feel like following the guidance of Christ. That may seem like a weird way to answer this question, but from my personal experience, God has told me to stay friends and be still, but He's also told me to move. If you have feelings, don't deny them, but also don't pursue him. He should be pursuing you."
6. You hear, or at least I hear, all the time that the guy is the pursuer. Okay. Cool. So how do guys need to step up in pursuing a relationship?
The responses:
- "Guys need to be the leader. Be blunt with a woman about your intentions. If you don't know your intentions, leave her alone. Don't play. Women are fragile, intricate beings who aren't emotionally removed from these situations. Everything affects a woman to the core (that may be too much, but it's how I feel) Respect her purity, treasure her, and seek to understand her."
- "Guys, get your head out of your rears and pursue her. She wants to be pursued like her mother was. No Netflix and chill. No "let's hang." Go to her door. Drive her to wherever and make her feel like you actually tried super hard even if you thought of it all 2 seconds ago. It's not the money you spend but the effort you give. Nice guys do win. Just don't overdo it and be annoying." (HAHAHA)
- "Be a gentleman. Treat her like she deserves to be treated."
- "Guys should be honest. If you like a girl, do something about it. Be upfront with your feelings. If a guy wants to date a specific girl, make time for her! No games like waiting an X amount of day to call or text, don't say something to come across as laid back and nonchalant but expressing how you truly feel. If a guy said that he was nervously excited before a date, I would be so flattered. If a guy told me that he wanted to take things slow because of whatever reason that would save me a lot of nights wondering why this did or didn't happen. Honesty, regardless o how you THINK you will come across."
- "I don't see the problem being solved by guys pursuing relationships but guys pursuing manhood. Grow up, get a job, learn consistency and faithfulness, practice your faith, learn the gospel, sacrifice your resources for other, honor your mother and care for your sister. Guys who pursue manhood will be much less awkward in pursuing relationships."
- "Asking someone on a date - and letting them know that it's a date - doesn't mean you're in a relationship with someone. Going on multiple dates doesn't mean that either. Guys need to step up and say, "Hey, I'm interested in you, can we purposefully spend time together?" I hate when after a conversation, I'm like, "Oh, is this a thing?"
- "Just be intentional. If you like her, make her feel valued. If you just want to be a brother in Christ, be honest."
- "I think the interest of being more than a friend should be brought up pretty soon after they realize that interest. If there is a lot of "friendzone" space, the girl is more likely to think the potential relationship is hopeless and as the question says, honestly pursue the girl."
I pray that this is something that is useful and beneficial for you in the season of life that you are currently in. It's a good season, I promise.
I don't want you to think that if you do points A, B, and C, then you will instantly be transported out Singleness Station. Because, well, I'm not Jesus and I don't control your life.
I do, however, love Jesus and I want you to know and trust that God is always good. In every season, in every step, in every moment of your life, God is good.
In Christ,
Jennifer
I'll start with this: Singleness, at any stage of life, can be a difficult season. It seems that the older you get, the harder it is to be content about it. I've asked a few friends to help me in writing this post. I started by giving them 6 straight-forward and, honestly, pretty heavy questions to answer. To be honest, their answers were great. I could tell that they had strong opinions and a lot of their answers were backed up by biblical truth.
The questions:
1. What is your definition of dating and why do you believe people should date?
2. What does the world teach us about dating and how do you agree or disagree?
3. What are you learning through your season of singleness?
4. What qualities/characteristics are the most important to you in a significant other and why?
5. What are some areas women can better communicate their feelings so that it doesn't cause a confusion of "I'm interested or I'm not interested?"
6. How do men need to step up in pursuing a relationship if they are interested in a woman?
I received a variety of answers to these questions and will use their answers and my own to delve into the topic of being single and how God can use you in this season.
GO.
1. For myself and the majority of those who took part in this, dating is a period of time in which there is an intentional, serious consideration of marriage between a man and woman. It's also doing life together. They're learning about one another and confirming their interests and growing together towards marriage. It is important to know all that you can about someone before you try to advance a relationship.
Dating is NOT a period of time in which you go on dates with someone because you think that person is attractive and they'll pay for a meal. Umm...negative.
To be really real, in high school, I dated because I thought that's just what you did. I thought a guy was cute, he made me laugh, we started hanging out, we held hands, we called it a relationship.
Looking back, I regret those relationships. Not because of the guy I was dating at the time, but because of the reasoning behind our relationship. It was silly. It was childish and it ended up just hurting my heart in the long run. Because you see, those relationships didn't last because they were not built on the foundation of Jesus. Jesus was not at the center of those relationships and to be honest, I wasn't asking Him if who I was dating or why I was dating was the best thing for me. Which leads to the next question.
2. Through reading the Gospels this semester, I've come to the realization that the Word of God and what the world teaches us is completely opposite of one another. It's like that on basically every issue out there...including dating, marriage, etc.
One of my very best friends gave an incredible response to this question:
"The world teaches us that dating is about US. A relationship is about getting what you want from another person and continuing if it feels right. The world says it's casual...that you can float from relationship to relationship and be okay. I completely disagree with every image of dating the world displays. It's selfish, self-seeking, and hollow."
Harsh, but legit, and very much true.
Another great response I received was this:
"The world presents dating as a temporary commitment in which you are able to have an intimate and physical relationship. If it is no longer beneficial or enjoyable, you get out and try another. The problem is that for the Christian, no relationship is disposable and the world has underestimated the impact of the physical relationship on ourselves and future relationships."
Can I get an AMEN?
Let me just go out on a limb and say this (again, my personal opinion):
If you cannot picture yourself with a person that you are currently interested in for years and years to come, do not date them. If they seem good right now, cool. If they don't seem so good for the next 50 years, #byefelicia. But really, dating is not a casual, let-me-hang-out-with-you-until-I-figure-out-my-feelings thing. Dating is a "I'm interested in you, I think we can serve Christ together, and I'm looking at the life journey, not just the fun road trip."
Men and women, if you get nothing else from this, please get this:
Serve Christ, love Him and meet with Him daily.
My favorite book and chapter of the Bible is John 15.
John 15:7 says, "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
Abide - keep to, hold to, conform to, follow, obey, comply with, accept, acknowledge, respect, stand by, the list goes on and on.
Keep to Christ. Hold to Christ. Conform to Christ. Follow Christ. Obey Christ. You get it? When you are loving the Lord and making Him the most important thing to you, your desires and what you think you want start transforming into what Christ desires for your life. And from personal experience, how beautiful and perfect are His plans for you.
God knows our hearts. By golly, He created our hearts. He knows what we desire. He knows that I desire a husband and a family, but He also knows that I need to desire Him and His plan.
So, seek, serve, and love Christ in the season of life that you're in and He will show you and teach you the most incredible things about Him, who He is, and all that you are to Him.
3. Believe it or not, singleness is a blessing. Another great friend of mine responded with this:
"I am learning through this season how capable, strong, and independent that I am. I am capable of anything with or without someone." YAS GIRL.
Another response that is extremely similar to mine: "It has taught me about patience and humbleness and knowing that single or not, God still can use me and wants to use me."
You don't have to be dating someone or married to be used by God. God wants a willing heart that desires His ultimate and divine plan. God can use you in whatever season you are in right now. My question to you is, are you willing to be used by God?
4. When I was 13, I attended a youth conference in Conway that was specifically designed for teenagers. At that conference, you were given the opportunity to go to several break out sessions or small groups. There was a leader for those groups that would discuss a specific topic you were interested in. My first session I went to: Why do people date?
We listened to a middle-aged woman speak on why people date and what the true meaning of dating should be. At the end of the session, we were asked to make a list. As a planner and extreme organizer, I was up for the challenge.
We were asked to make a Husband/Wife list. The girls were to make a list of qualities of what they were looking for in a husband, and vice versa for the guys.
Looking back, my list was literally the dumbest thing I ever wrote. I'm sure it's still at my parents house in a box in my old closet. Ha!
That was 11 years ago and my ideal for a husband has changed significantly.
To me and my girl, Rachel, (And I'm sure others out there) the most important quality is a man seeking the Lord intentionally. If he is being mentored, spending intentional time in the Word, and is involved in his church, the rest will take care of itself. To be honest, nothing is more attractive than a man who pursues Christ and strives to know Him more and more each day.
Through various responses, I also got these answers:
A good sense of humor, honest, family-oriented, good morals, strong, silly, creative, outgoing, and hot (because kids - duh)
That last one, from the person I got it from, was definitely a joke. But not really knowing her. Ha!
So basically, this goes to both guys and girls and it goes back to Christ, as it will...every time: Seek Christ, have a mentor who is keeping you accountable and encourages you in your walk with Christ, study His Word, and be involved in your church.
And let me go out on another limb here because, why not, I'm already sharing basically everything else with you...
Do not settle. The problem with our generation today is that there are guys and girls dating that have no reason to be dating.
Young woman of God, wait for the man who loves you the way that Christ loved the church and quit settling for the boys who can shave. There's a lot of neat Christian boys out there, but not a whole lot of godly men who diligently seek the Lord in everything they do. Wait for that man.
One of my favorite quotes is from my favorite speaker, Matt Chandler.
"Your loneliness now is monumentally better than your loneliness with a man in the house who has no intention of loving and serving you the way that Christ loved the church."
Can I get another AMEN?
Young man of God, wait for the woman who encourages you, holds you accountable of your job as the head of the family, and will gladly submit to you as she does to the Lord.
Difficult to find? Probably. Worth it in the long run? You bet.
5. I feel like this is an ongoing issue that has escalated here recently. How can women better communicate to a guy if she is or is not interested in him without causing confusion and hurt feelings?
Here's a bright idea, ladies...COMMUNICATE. How will a guy ever really know if you're interested, if you never tell him? Whoa, there's a thought.
This whole ridiculous game of, "Oh my gosh, he made eye contact with me from across the room...I think he's interested so I'm just going to sit here and be impatient and overanalyze everything he ever does because I think he likes me."
Okay. Girl, STOP. Please. He made eye contact because he has eyes and is a human being. If I make eye contact with every male, that does not mean I like them, it means I have eyes and I'm using them correctly.
I had several awesome responses:
- "Be blunt with your intentions, feelings, and motives."
- "Women have to quit being scared for someone to know they are interested. Like isn't that the point? Let them know...just don't be cray." (My personal favorite. Haha!)
- "Be honest about it. Say why you are pursuing each other so that neither person gets confused."
- "Women need to be more straightforward, less flirtface, inserting themselves in every place of the other person's life, or less standoff-ish, running the opposite direction. Be bold, confident, and humble."
- "Just be honest. If you don't know, say it, If it's a no, say it. If you like them, you can say it. It doesn't have to be signals. We can use words. It doesn't have to be complicated."
- "First, don't be quick to assume interest in another. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. Many heartbreaks could be avoided simply by moving slowly."
- "Well this one hits home. I definitely feel like following the guidance of Christ. That may seem like a weird way to answer this question, but from my personal experience, God has told me to stay friends and be still, but He's also told me to move. If you have feelings, don't deny them, but also don't pursue him. He should be pursuing you."
6. You hear, or at least I hear, all the time that the guy is the pursuer. Okay. Cool. So how do guys need to step up in pursuing a relationship?
The responses:
- "Guys need to be the leader. Be blunt with a woman about your intentions. If you don't know your intentions, leave her alone. Don't play. Women are fragile, intricate beings who aren't emotionally removed from these situations. Everything affects a woman to the core (that may be too much, but it's how I feel) Respect her purity, treasure her, and seek to understand her."
- "Guys, get your head out of your rears and pursue her. She wants to be pursued like her mother was. No Netflix and chill. No "let's hang." Go to her door. Drive her to wherever and make her feel like you actually tried super hard even if you thought of it all 2 seconds ago. It's not the money you spend but the effort you give. Nice guys do win. Just don't overdo it and be annoying." (HAHAHA)
- "Be a gentleman. Treat her like she deserves to be treated."
- "Guys should be honest. If you like a girl, do something about it. Be upfront with your feelings. If a guy wants to date a specific girl, make time for her! No games like waiting an X amount of day to call or text, don't say something to come across as laid back and nonchalant but expressing how you truly feel. If a guy said that he was nervously excited before a date, I would be so flattered. If a guy told me that he wanted to take things slow because of whatever reason that would save me a lot of nights wondering why this did or didn't happen. Honesty, regardless o how you THINK you will come across."
- "I don't see the problem being solved by guys pursuing relationships but guys pursuing manhood. Grow up, get a job, learn consistency and faithfulness, practice your faith, learn the gospel, sacrifice your resources for other, honor your mother and care for your sister. Guys who pursue manhood will be much less awkward in pursuing relationships."
- "Asking someone on a date - and letting them know that it's a date - doesn't mean you're in a relationship with someone. Going on multiple dates doesn't mean that either. Guys need to step up and say, "Hey, I'm interested in you, can we purposefully spend time together?" I hate when after a conversation, I'm like, "Oh, is this a thing?"
- "Just be intentional. If you like her, make her feel valued. If you just want to be a brother in Christ, be honest."
- "I think the interest of being more than a friend should be brought up pretty soon after they realize that interest. If there is a lot of "friendzone" space, the girl is more likely to think the potential relationship is hopeless and as the question says, honestly pursue the girl."
I pray that this is something that is useful and beneficial for you in the season of life that you are currently in. It's a good season, I promise.
I don't want you to think that if you do points A, B, and C, then you will instantly be transported out Singleness Station. Because, well, I'm not Jesus and I don't control your life.
I do, however, love Jesus and I want you to know and trust that God is always good. In every season, in every step, in every moment of your life, God is good.
In Christ,
Jennifer
Saturday, February 13, 2016
It's all because of God's grace
It's February 13, 2016, a little past 8:00 p.m. where I live and I'm sitting in my place of residence alone. I'm 23 years old living in a town I've grown to love, attending a church that I have grown in my faith at, and working as a resource teacher at two elementary schools that I have learned I'm needed at. I live a good, pretty simple life. I'm blessed.
But, if you would've told me 5 years ago that I'd be in the town I was, at the church I'm a member of, and teaching at the schools I teach at, I probably would've asked you how in the world did I get there.
Well, I think I have an answer....by God's grace.
5 years ago I was 18 years old and a freshman in college. I had a desire to become a teacher and I wanted nothing more than to find a husband and get married. (Note the fact that I said find a husband and not let God lead a man to find me.) I thought I was pretty much in control of my life and how it went. And boy, did I get a slap in the face. I realized that I have no control and that's good. I learned that I don't need a significant other unless they are drawing me closer to Christ and leading me in that direction. I learned that I need to let go of people that were once so close to me go because they were toxic and in no way encouraged me in my walk with Christ. And most importantly, I learned that my life was not about me.
You're probably thinking, "When is this girl going to get to point of the title of this little blog?" and I assure you...I'm getting there. I just had to give a little back story first.
I say all of that to say this:
I wish I would've taken my life more seriously when I was younger. I wish I didn't let things get to me the way they did back then. I wish I would've never dated in high school because I thought I needed to be with someone to be happy and to appear wanted.
To those reading this, you 3 or 4 brave souls, I'm writing this for you. I'm writing this to encourage you to not be the way the world thinks you should be. I'm writing this to encourage you to take life and love and Jesus more seriously now because one day you're going to wake up and you'll be 23, living in an apartment in a town you probably never thought you'd live in, and wonder how in the world you got here.
And it's all because of God's grace.
Right now, you are very focused on making sure that the "right" girls like you. You are very adamant about making sure that what you're wearing and how you act is attractive to boys. You are wanting to be happy and no matter how often you show off those pearly whites, you're the one kidding yourself. I know this, because I've been there. I've been right where you are. You think that maybe when you're pretty enough, or skinny enough, or have someone holding your hand, that you'll finally be happy with who you are. But, let me the one to burst your bubble and tell you that you won't find it if you're relying on yourself and other people to make you happy.
John 15 is probably my favorite chapter in the Bible. I read it often to be reminded that I am nothing and have nothing without Christ.
John 15:10-11 says, "If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
Did you catch that? "...and that your joy may be full."
Here's the thing. Joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is fleeting and temporary. But, JOY, joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of your life and the determined choice to praise Him in every situation that occurs.
You, as a human being, can be happy and it can be cool and fun and even exhilarating at times...but it won't last. Something or someone will tick you off and that happiness just jumps out the window.
With joy, more specifically, with Christ's joy in you, you can smile, laugh, cry, whatever, and still have peace in knowing that God's got this and everything else will fall into place.
I wish I would've learned that sooner. I wish that I'd learned sooner that I don't have to have control of my life because in reality, the plans I had for me at 18 and for my future don't even compare to what I have 5 years later at 23.
I have joy.
I have joy in knowing that my life is Christ's. I have joy in knowing my life and who enters it or leaves it is up to Christ. I have joy because I don't have to have my life together all the time. I have joy because I live an incredible life that God has so graciously given me because His love never fails. I have joy in those times of utter confusion and chaos and pain because I know that God has a plan for my life even when I don't understand what He's doing and why He's doing it. I have joy because it's not my job to understand why He does and does not do something.
So, to the one reading this:
A) Congratulations! Thanks for sticking with me! I know it probably wasn't easy.
B) I want to encourage you to seek Jesus every day. I want to encourage you to make Him the center of your life. I want to tell you how important your life is to Christ. He has a plan for you, even when you don't think He does or you think that He has given up on you.
God is good. He is a good, good Father that deeply cares about you and He earnestly wants you to want Him back.
The people in your life that you think you need to make you happy will let you down. It's going to happen. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that, but it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.
Find your joy, peace, and satisfaction in the Ultimate Creator of this world because He holds the whole world in His hands and He's holding onto you. He sees you, He sees your heart, He knows the desires of your heart, and He just wants you to want Him.
You don't have to do anything to win Him over.
One day you're going to be where I am now and you're going to wonder how in the world you got here and you'll realize that it's all because of God's grace.
But, if you would've told me 5 years ago that I'd be in the town I was, at the church I'm a member of, and teaching at the schools I teach at, I probably would've asked you how in the world did I get there.
Well, I think I have an answer....by God's grace.
5 years ago I was 18 years old and a freshman in college. I had a desire to become a teacher and I wanted nothing more than to find a husband and get married. (Note the fact that I said find a husband and not let God lead a man to find me.) I thought I was pretty much in control of my life and how it went. And boy, did I get a slap in the face. I realized that I have no control and that's good. I learned that I don't need a significant other unless they are drawing me closer to Christ and leading me in that direction. I learned that I need to let go of people that were once so close to me go because they were toxic and in no way encouraged me in my walk with Christ. And most importantly, I learned that my life was not about me.
You're probably thinking, "When is this girl going to get to point of the title of this little blog?" and I assure you...I'm getting there. I just had to give a little back story first.
I say all of that to say this:
I wish I would've taken my life more seriously when I was younger. I wish I didn't let things get to me the way they did back then. I wish I would've never dated in high school because I thought I needed to be with someone to be happy and to appear wanted.
To those reading this, you 3 or 4 brave souls, I'm writing this for you. I'm writing this to encourage you to not be the way the world thinks you should be. I'm writing this to encourage you to take life and love and Jesus more seriously now because one day you're going to wake up and you'll be 23, living in an apartment in a town you probably never thought you'd live in, and wonder how in the world you got here.
And it's all because of God's grace.
Right now, you are very focused on making sure that the "right" girls like you. You are very adamant about making sure that what you're wearing and how you act is attractive to boys. You are wanting to be happy and no matter how often you show off those pearly whites, you're the one kidding yourself. I know this, because I've been there. I've been right where you are. You think that maybe when you're pretty enough, or skinny enough, or have someone holding your hand, that you'll finally be happy with who you are. But, let me the one to burst your bubble and tell you that you won't find it if you're relying on yourself and other people to make you happy.
John 15 is probably my favorite chapter in the Bible. I read it often to be reminded that I am nothing and have nothing without Christ.
John 15:10-11 says, "If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
Did you catch that? "...and that your joy may be full."
Here's the thing. Joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is fleeting and temporary. But, JOY, joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of your life and the determined choice to praise Him in every situation that occurs.
You, as a human being, can be happy and it can be cool and fun and even exhilarating at times...but it won't last. Something or someone will tick you off and that happiness just jumps out the window.
With joy, more specifically, with Christ's joy in you, you can smile, laugh, cry, whatever, and still have peace in knowing that God's got this and everything else will fall into place.
I wish I would've learned that sooner. I wish that I'd learned sooner that I don't have to have control of my life because in reality, the plans I had for me at 18 and for my future don't even compare to what I have 5 years later at 23.
I have joy.
I have joy in knowing that my life is Christ's. I have joy in knowing my life and who enters it or leaves it is up to Christ. I have joy because I don't have to have my life together all the time. I have joy because I live an incredible life that God has so graciously given me because His love never fails. I have joy in those times of utter confusion and chaos and pain because I know that God has a plan for my life even when I don't understand what He's doing and why He's doing it. I have joy because it's not my job to understand why He does and does not do something.
So, to the one reading this:
A) Congratulations! Thanks for sticking with me! I know it probably wasn't easy.
B) I want to encourage you to seek Jesus every day. I want to encourage you to make Him the center of your life. I want to tell you how important your life is to Christ. He has a plan for you, even when you don't think He does or you think that He has given up on you.
God is good. He is a good, good Father that deeply cares about you and He earnestly wants you to want Him back.
The people in your life that you think you need to make you happy will let you down. It's going to happen. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that, but it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.
Find your joy, peace, and satisfaction in the Ultimate Creator of this world because He holds the whole world in His hands and He's holding onto you. He sees you, He sees your heart, He knows the desires of your heart, and He just wants you to want Him.
You don't have to do anything to win Him over.
One day you're going to be where I am now and you're going to wonder how in the world you got here and you'll realize that it's all because of God's grace.
Monday, December 23, 2013
Slow Down: Live in the Now
Do you ever have those moments when you have like a revelation about life and it literally just comes out of nowhere? Well I did.
A few days ago I was watching television with my mom. Totally typical during Christmas break. She records tons, and I mean, TONS of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies while I'm home for the holidays and that's seriously what my break has consisted of. But, it's great! We both love over-dramatic, sappy love stories and what better way to spend some mother/daughter girl time besides getting your nails did. :)
But, during the movie marathon, I realized something.
In this day and age, we are in a constant stage of go, go, go, all the time.
It's like we never slow down and just breathe for a second. We want to get things done as quickly as possible so we can move on to the next thing planned.
I realized this while watching all these movies with my mom. We have a DVR, which, well, I couldn't tell you what all that consists of and means, but one thing I do know is that you can fast forward through commercials and get back to what you were watching in a jiffy. It's actually pretty cool and I do in fact enjoy it.
But, it's one of those things that make you go, "Hmmm."
It's a simple concept, really. People hate commercials and they take away from you watching the show you're trying to watch. So, these geniuses created this system where you can fast forward through them and get back where you left off. Brilliant, right?!
While I was going through all of these thoughts I'm typing out right now in my head during a movie, I simply felt immediately distraught.
As humans, we literally don't know how to take a break. We are always on the go. We're impatient and honestly, we're selfish.
We want what we want when we want it. That's just how we're wired, right? WRONG. At least in my opinion.
I mean, think about it. Take Jesus for example. He was always on the go, with His many miracles, healings, baptisms, the list goes on and on. He was a busy guy! But, He always made time and took His time to be with His people. He loved spending time with His children and would cherish every moment.
Why can't we do that? I mean, we are created in His image, right?
Ephesians 5:1 says that we should be imitators of God and in Ephesians 4:24 it says that we are created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Like, think about that for a second. Like, for real, do it. Think about it. How freaking cool is that?!
It's incredible to me that a Man so unchanging, unfailing, sovereign, powerful, mighty, and the ultimate display of love is. I want to be like Him. Whatever it takes. I want to be an ambassador for my God. I want to live like He did and to love like He does.
I know that my topic is extremely broad and I may have gone off topic, but I really think it all connects.
I challenge you, whoever you are taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this blog written by a 21 year old Arkansan college student, to take a break. Just breathe and simply be. Don't think about what you have to do or what still needs to be done. It'll get done in time. Just be. Be with the people you love. Be the person God created you to be. Be. Don't rush and think you don't have the time. We have all the time we'll ever need. I mean, 24 hours in a day is actually a pretty long time. Enjoy the time that you have and enjoy the people you have around you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Infinite X's and O's,
Jennifer
A few days ago I was watching television with my mom. Totally typical during Christmas break. She records tons, and I mean, TONS of Hallmark and Lifetime Christmas movies while I'm home for the holidays and that's seriously what my break has consisted of. But, it's great! We both love over-dramatic, sappy love stories and what better way to spend some mother/daughter girl time besides getting your nails did. :)
But, during the movie marathon, I realized something.
In this day and age, we are in a constant stage of go, go, go, all the time.
It's like we never slow down and just breathe for a second. We want to get things done as quickly as possible so we can move on to the next thing planned.
I realized this while watching all these movies with my mom. We have a DVR, which, well, I couldn't tell you what all that consists of and means, but one thing I do know is that you can fast forward through commercials and get back to what you were watching in a jiffy. It's actually pretty cool and I do in fact enjoy it.
But, it's one of those things that make you go, "Hmmm."
It's a simple concept, really. People hate commercials and they take away from you watching the show you're trying to watch. So, these geniuses created this system where you can fast forward through them and get back where you left off. Brilliant, right?!
While I was going through all of these thoughts I'm typing out right now in my head during a movie, I simply felt immediately distraught.
As humans, we literally don't know how to take a break. We are always on the go. We're impatient and honestly, we're selfish.
We want what we want when we want it. That's just how we're wired, right? WRONG. At least in my opinion.
I mean, think about it. Take Jesus for example. He was always on the go, with His many miracles, healings, baptisms, the list goes on and on. He was a busy guy! But, He always made time and took His time to be with His people. He loved spending time with His children and would cherish every moment.
Why can't we do that? I mean, we are created in His image, right?
Ephesians 5:1 says that we should be imitators of God and in Ephesians 4:24 it says that we are created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Like, think about that for a second. Like, for real, do it. Think about it. How freaking cool is that?!
It's incredible to me that a Man so unchanging, unfailing, sovereign, powerful, mighty, and the ultimate display of love is. I want to be like Him. Whatever it takes. I want to be an ambassador for my God. I want to live like He did and to love like He does.
I know that my topic is extremely broad and I may have gone off topic, but I really think it all connects.
I challenge you, whoever you are taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this blog written by a 21 year old Arkansan college student, to take a break. Just breathe and simply be. Don't think about what you have to do or what still needs to be done. It'll get done in time. Just be. Be with the people you love. Be the person God created you to be. Be. Don't rush and think you don't have the time. We have all the time we'll ever need. I mean, 24 hours in a day is actually a pretty long time. Enjoy the time that you have and enjoy the people you have around you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Infinite X's and O's,
Jennifer
Thursday, November 28, 2013
In my 21 years...
This is a new thing for me...blogging. As a young girl, I loved writing in my diary and journals all of my deepest and darkest secrets, but as I've gotten older, that love for sharing things has dwindled. Nonetheless, the more I've thought about it and the more friends I see with blogs, I thought, "Well, why not?" The only thing is, do I really have things to say that might actually interest people? The answer to that? Well I would hope so, but really and truly, this is for me.
I've heard it said that writing helps you to remember, helps you to get out those feelings right when you feel them, helps you to sit back and ponder about why you thought what you thought when you thought it. And let me tell you, I'm a thinker. I think a lot about my life; where I've been, what I've done, and where I want to go. I'm excited to see what will happen with this and if it truly will be beneficial to me and hopefully, in turn, helpful to those out there who struggle and think the way I do.
So here's goes nothing...
In my 21 years, I've seen a lot. I've been through a lot and by the grace of God, I've changed a lot. Growing up a Hulsizer, there are some characteristics that are simply just given to you at birth: sarcastic, kind-hearted, caring to name a few. (quite a random list if you think)
But, I love being a Hulsizer, I love that God put me in the Hulsizer family, and I love that He gave me the parents that He did. Although, I have to admit, there were times in my teenage years that I wish they would've left me alone. But the more I think about, at 21, I'm grateful that they cared and still do. I'm grateful that they punished me because looking back, I know I needed it. I'm grateful that, more than anything, I was raised in a Christian home. And there's the plug to my next topic...
I was raised a preacher's kid and no matter how many times I was told that I was going to end up being one of those "typical preacher's kids", I think I've punched that stereotype flat in the face. I'm a lot of things, but I'm in no way a rebel child. I'm also not the perfect preacher's kid with angel wings and a halo. I've made my share of mistakes and screw ups, but I've learned that those don't define me and who Christ made me to be.
I'm sensitive, I'm gentle, I'm cautious, I love hard, and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm scared. The weird part is, is that I don't know what I'm scared about. I live a life that I'm utterly blessed to live. I still have both of my parents, a beautiful older sister who is married to a great man. I am a senior at UCA majoring in Early Childhood/Special Education simply because I love kids and I want to teach them and remind them of their incredible potential. I live in the great state of Arkansas, in the beautiful city of Conway. I'm blessed and I've come to the conclusion that that is only by Christ and His unconditional love and sweet grace for me that I'm able to live the life that I do. Without Him, none of this, absolutely none of it, would be possible.
Now back to the point of this blog....in my 21 years, I have learned a lot, but one of the most important things that I've learned is the quote that I've lived by for a few years now: "If they can't handle you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best."
I had boyfriends in high school that were for the most part, good guys. They went to church, they treated me like a lady, and they seemed to care about me. One thing, though, was missing from each of them, they could never handle me when I wasn't at my best. I like to think of myself as a happy, out-going, loving, and bubbly person, but I can have my days where all I want to do is cry, sit in my pajamas all day long and watch sappy love stories on TV.
Now, I haven't had a boyfriend since my junior year in high school (if you care to do the math, that's almost 5 years) For the first 3 of that, I was one bitter, angry, and jealous girl. I hated boys, everything about them. I wanted nothing to do with them. I had come to the conclusion that they were all the same...scum. Utter scum. Looking back, it wasn't them that was the problem. The problem was me. I held all of this bitterness and hatred in my heart for so long, because I figured that all guys were good at only one thing...breaking hearts.
The last 2 years, God has truly been teaching me so much about myself and really has molded me into the woman of God that He wants me to be. However, He continuously is shaping me and molding me day by day. I like to think of it as a process.
The first on His list to "fix" about me was my bitterness and boy was I bitter. I had to do a lot of reading the Word and praying for God to help to forgive the guys that hurt me in the past. And really and truly, it was a lot easier than I thought. When you look at it from the perspective of Christ, it's completely different than the humanized perspective. Hear me out...
In this day and age, when someone hurts your feelings, breaks your heart, or makes you upset, it's easy to hold a grudge against that person.
From the perspective of Christ comes this question: If God can forgive me for all the stupid stuff I've done and sometimes still do, then why is it so hard for me to forgive others when He can forgive so easily?
Think about it.
Yes, I'm only a 21 year old college student, but I have sure as heck have made my share of mistakes, screw ups, sins, whatever you want to call it and yet, My Father still chooses to forgive me and still believes in the woman that I could and should be.
So, I forgave those guys and it was the most beautiful experience. It was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The more that I sat in Christ's arms and genuinely wanted to know more about Him and His character, He started showing a side of Himself that I never knew was possible.
He started to show me the "Husband" side. I know what you're thinking.."WHAT?! HUSBAND?! God isn't your husband!"
As much as you are technically correct, He is. He's never left my side, He cares for me, He still loves me even at my worst, He satisfies my every need and desire, He sees the best in me and wants the best for me, He knows me better than I know myself. He's perfect.
God has truly shown and taught me that as much as I want to be married and have a husband, that man will never be able to give me the love and satisfaction that I need. But God always will. Without a doubt. There's no doubt in my mind that God has someone out there for me, but His timing is perfect and I believe that when the time is right, He will present himself to me, pursue me, love me at my best and worst, and most importantly, love me the way that Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her.
So my challenge to you is this: get in The Word and start finding out for yourself all the sides of Christ that He is so openly willing to show you, because He won't disappoint, He might even surprise you.
You are loved, you are sought after, and you were made to do great things. Don't forget it.
Infinite X's and O's,
Jennifer
I've heard it said that writing helps you to remember, helps you to get out those feelings right when you feel them, helps you to sit back and ponder about why you thought what you thought when you thought it. And let me tell you, I'm a thinker. I think a lot about my life; where I've been, what I've done, and where I want to go. I'm excited to see what will happen with this and if it truly will be beneficial to me and hopefully, in turn, helpful to those out there who struggle and think the way I do.
So here's goes nothing...
In my 21 years, I've seen a lot. I've been through a lot and by the grace of God, I've changed a lot. Growing up a Hulsizer, there are some characteristics that are simply just given to you at birth: sarcastic, kind-hearted, caring to name a few. (quite a random list if you think)
But, I love being a Hulsizer, I love that God put me in the Hulsizer family, and I love that He gave me the parents that He did. Although, I have to admit, there were times in my teenage years that I wish they would've left me alone. But the more I think about, at 21, I'm grateful that they cared and still do. I'm grateful that they punished me because looking back, I know I needed it. I'm grateful that, more than anything, I was raised in a Christian home. And there's the plug to my next topic...
I was raised a preacher's kid and no matter how many times I was told that I was going to end up being one of those "typical preacher's kids", I think I've punched that stereotype flat in the face. I'm a lot of things, but I'm in no way a rebel child. I'm also not the perfect preacher's kid with angel wings and a halo. I've made my share of mistakes and screw ups, but I've learned that those don't define me and who Christ made me to be.
I'm sensitive, I'm gentle, I'm cautious, I love hard, and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm scared. The weird part is, is that I don't know what I'm scared about. I live a life that I'm utterly blessed to live. I still have both of my parents, a beautiful older sister who is married to a great man. I am a senior at UCA majoring in Early Childhood/Special Education simply because I love kids and I want to teach them and remind them of their incredible potential. I live in the great state of Arkansas, in the beautiful city of Conway. I'm blessed and I've come to the conclusion that that is only by Christ and His unconditional love and sweet grace for me that I'm able to live the life that I do. Without Him, none of this, absolutely none of it, would be possible.
Now back to the point of this blog....in my 21 years, I have learned a lot, but one of the most important things that I've learned is the quote that I've lived by for a few years now: "If they can't handle you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best."
I had boyfriends in high school that were for the most part, good guys. They went to church, they treated me like a lady, and they seemed to care about me. One thing, though, was missing from each of them, they could never handle me when I wasn't at my best. I like to think of myself as a happy, out-going, loving, and bubbly person, but I can have my days where all I want to do is cry, sit in my pajamas all day long and watch sappy love stories on TV.
Now, I haven't had a boyfriend since my junior year in high school (if you care to do the math, that's almost 5 years) For the first 3 of that, I was one bitter, angry, and jealous girl. I hated boys, everything about them. I wanted nothing to do with them. I had come to the conclusion that they were all the same...scum. Utter scum. Looking back, it wasn't them that was the problem. The problem was me. I held all of this bitterness and hatred in my heart for so long, because I figured that all guys were good at only one thing...breaking hearts.
The last 2 years, God has truly been teaching me so much about myself and really has molded me into the woman of God that He wants me to be. However, He continuously is shaping me and molding me day by day. I like to think of it as a process.
The first on His list to "fix" about me was my bitterness and boy was I bitter. I had to do a lot of reading the Word and praying for God to help to forgive the guys that hurt me in the past. And really and truly, it was a lot easier than I thought. When you look at it from the perspective of Christ, it's completely different than the humanized perspective. Hear me out...
In this day and age, when someone hurts your feelings, breaks your heart, or makes you upset, it's easy to hold a grudge against that person.
From the perspective of Christ comes this question: If God can forgive me for all the stupid stuff I've done and sometimes still do, then why is it so hard for me to forgive others when He can forgive so easily?
Think about it.
Yes, I'm only a 21 year old college student, but I have sure as heck have made my share of mistakes, screw ups, sins, whatever you want to call it and yet, My Father still chooses to forgive me and still believes in the woman that I could and should be.
So, I forgave those guys and it was the most beautiful experience. It was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The more that I sat in Christ's arms and genuinely wanted to know more about Him and His character, He started showing a side of Himself that I never knew was possible.
He started to show me the "Husband" side. I know what you're thinking.."WHAT?! HUSBAND?! God isn't your husband!"
As much as you are technically correct, He is. He's never left my side, He cares for me, He still loves me even at my worst, He satisfies my every need and desire, He sees the best in me and wants the best for me, He knows me better than I know myself. He's perfect.
God has truly shown and taught me that as much as I want to be married and have a husband, that man will never be able to give me the love and satisfaction that I need. But God always will. Without a doubt. There's no doubt in my mind that God has someone out there for me, but His timing is perfect and I believe that when the time is right, He will present himself to me, pursue me, love me at my best and worst, and most importantly, love me the way that Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her.
So my challenge to you is this: get in The Word and start finding out for yourself all the sides of Christ that He is so openly willing to show you, because He won't disappoint, He might even surprise you.
You are loved, you are sought after, and you were made to do great things. Don't forget it.
Infinite X's and O's,
Jennifer
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