It's all because of God's grace

It's February 13, 2016, a little past 8:00 p.m. where I live and I'm sitting in my place of residence alone. I'm 23 years old living in a town I've grown to love, attending a church that I have grown in my faith at, and working as a resource teacher at two elementary schools that I have learned I'm needed at. I live a good, pretty simple life. I'm blessed.
But, if you would've told me 5 years ago that I'd be in the town I was, at the church I'm a member of, and teaching at the schools I teach at, I probably would've asked you how in the world did I get there.
Well, I think I have an answer....by God's grace.

5 years ago I was 18 years old and a freshman in college. I had a desire to become a teacher and I wanted nothing more than to find a husband and get married. (Note the fact that I said find a husband and not let God lead a man to find me.) I thought I was pretty much in control of my life and how it went. And boy, did I get a slap in the face. I realized that I have no control and that's good. I learned that I don't need a significant other unless they are drawing me closer to Christ and leading me in that direction. I learned that I need to let go of people that were once so close to me go because they were toxic and in no way encouraged me in my walk with Christ. And most importantly, I learned that my life was not about me.

You're probably thinking, "When is this girl going to get to point of the title of this little blog?" and I assure you...I'm getting there. I just had to give a little back story first.

I say all of that to say this:
I wish I would've taken my life more seriously when I was younger. I wish I didn't let things get to me the way they did back then. I wish I would've never dated in high school because I thought I needed to be with someone to be happy and to appear wanted.

To those reading this, you 3 or 4 brave souls, I'm writing this for you. I'm writing this to encourage you to not be the way the world thinks you should be. I'm writing this to encourage you to take life and love and Jesus more seriously now because one day you're going to wake up and you'll be 23, living in an apartment in a town you probably never thought you'd live in, and wonder how in the world you got here.
And it's all because of God's grace.

Right now, you are very focused on making sure that the "right" girls like you. You are very adamant about making sure that what you're wearing and how you act is attractive to boys. You are wanting to be happy and no matter how often you show off those pearly whites, you're the one kidding yourself. I know this, because I've been there. I've been right where you are. You think that maybe when you're pretty enough, or skinny enough, or have someone holding your hand, that you'll finally be happy with who you are. But, let me the one to burst your bubble and tell you that you won't find it if you're relying on yourself and other people to make you happy.

John 15 is probably my favorite chapter in the Bible. I read it often to be reminded that I am nothing and have nothing without Christ.
John 15:10-11 says, "If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."

Did you catch that? "...and that your joy may be full."

Here's the thing. Joy and happiness are not the same thing. Happiness is fleeting and temporary. But, JOY, joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of your life and the determined choice to praise Him in every situation that occurs.

You, as a human being, can be happy and it can be cool and fun and even exhilarating at times...but it won't last. Something or someone will tick you off and that happiness just jumps out the window.
With joy, more specifically, with Christ's joy in you, you can smile, laugh, cry, whatever, and still have peace in knowing that God's got this and everything else will fall into place.

I wish I would've learned that sooner. I wish that I'd learned sooner that I don't have to have control of my life because in reality, the plans I had for me at 18 and for my future don't even compare to what I have 5 years later at 23.

I have joy.

I have joy in knowing that my life is Christ's. I have joy in knowing my life and who enters it or leaves it is up to Christ. I have joy because I don't have to have my life together all the time. I have joy because I live an incredible life that God has so graciously given me because His love never fails. I have joy in those times of utter confusion and chaos and pain because I know that God has a plan for my life even when I don't understand what He's doing and why He's doing it. I have joy because it's not my job to understand why He does and does not do something.

So, to the one reading this:
A) Congratulations! Thanks for sticking with me! I know it probably wasn't easy.
B) I want to encourage you to seek Jesus every day. I want to encourage you to make Him the center of your life. I want to tell you how important your life is to Christ. He has a plan for you, even when you don't think He does or you think that He has given up on you.

God is good. He is a good, good Father that deeply cares about you and He earnestly wants you to want Him back.

The people in your life that you think you need to make you happy will let you down. It's going to happen. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that, but it's going to happen whether you want it to or not.

Find your joy, peace, and satisfaction in the Ultimate Creator of this world because He holds the whole world in His hands and He's holding onto you. He sees you, He sees your heart, He knows the desires of your heart, and He just wants you to want Him.

You don't have to do anything to win Him over.

One day you're going to be where I am now and you're going to wonder how in the world you got here and you'll realize that it's all because of God's grace.